Kanye discusses when he first became interested in making beats. He claims that is was when he was in 7th grade, doing beats for a video game he was designing, saying:  “I got into doing beats for the video games I used to try to make. My game was very sexual. The main character was, like, a giant penis.” Skipping ahead to the end of the article:

This isn’t the first reset, of course, that West has engineered. “My story is so written, like God has a plan for me-an exact parallel, like I’ve seen this before, I’m back in Groundhog Day again,” he says. “Like the Glow in the Dark tour-that was like going back and finally finishing up that video game. Except now it was me in the video game.”

Ok, so, wait. Kanye, you are now that huge dick from the video game? Got it.

Moving along… Some of my favorite quotes from the article include:

Oh my God, I’m one of the greatest rappers in the world… I’ll get on a track and completely ee-nihilate that track, I’ll eat it and rip it in half. I wouldn’t have to think of it.

and;

I am the voice of this generation… If not me, then who? … Someone could be a better rapper, dance better. But culturally impacting? When you look back at these four and a half years, who’s the icon at the end of the day? Who broke down color barriers? What other black guy would a white person use as a fashion reference?

Totally. I seriously can’t think of one other person who has had a larger cultural impact than Kanye. I mean, the guy practically paved the way for Obama to get in the white house. There were all of these sartorially challenged, slightly racist white-guy voters out there, who were able to get past their prejudices by taking style tips from Kanye, because he is one of the greatest rappers in the world.

But seriously, the best part of the article (besides the fact that an author finally gave credit where it’s due, citing Cher for popularizing the voice modulator), is when Kanye tries to flip the colloquial derogatory connotation of  the word “gay.” Read Kanye’s analysis carefully:

Take the word gay-like, in hip-hop, that’s a negative thing, right? But in the past two, three years, all the gay people I’ve encountered have been, like, really, really, extremely dope. Y’know, I haven’t, like, gone to a gay bar, nor do I ever plan to. But where I would talk to a gay person-the conversation would be mostly around, like, art or design-it’d be really dope. From a design standpoint, kids’ll say, ‘Dude, those pants are gay.’ But if it’s, like, good, good, good fashion-level, design-level stuff, where it’s on a higher level than the average commercial design stuff, it’s, like, gay people that do that. I think that should be said as a compliment. Like, ‘Dude, that’s so good it’s almost . . . gay.

Ok, it was fairly well thought out. But dude, I’m sorry, it’s just not going to fly. Or maybe Kanye really is a genius, and the whole blurb above is just one of those “joke’s on you” plots, like R. Kelly’s whole “in the closet” bit.  Kanye says the “kids’ll” say it, then he laughs when the kids start saying it. Hmmmmmmmm. Nope, on second thought, a complex ploy like that is clearly outside of the scope of Kanye’s mental ability.

[Photo by NY Magazine]

Naked Cowboy in cuffs

The guitar strokin’ jackass, Times Square regular, known as the Naked Cowboy, was arrested in San Francisco last Friday. According to the NY Post, Mr. Cowboy was performing in a “restricted area.” It is a bit ironic, that he was arrested in San Francisco, the place notorious for coddling fringe movements and for touting a self-awarded “progressive” title. I’m sure that this isn’t the first time that a guitar playing long-hair in his underwear has been thrown in cuffs, in San Fran.